A School-report 学校成绩单（中英文） The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful as he read, "English, poor; French, weak; mathematics, fair;" and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad. "Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent." 父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情： “英语，差；法语，差；数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。 “爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗？”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。” Is Ink So Expensive 墨水很贵吗（中英文） Son: Is ink so very expensive, father? Father: Why, son, what makes you think so? Son: W...well. Mother seems quite disturbed because I spilled some on the carpet. 儿子：爸爸，墨水很贵吗？ 父亲：不贵呀，你为什么这么想？ 儿子：哦，我把墨水洒了一点在地毯上，妈妈好象挺着急的。 It’s Not My Fault 这不是我的错（中英文） "Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Victor? You're the worst pupil in your class." Said the father. "What's that got to do with me? Is it my fault that the worst one was yesterday transferred to another school?" was the answer. “维克多，你是班里最差的学生。你不觉得害臊吗？”爸爸说。 “这能怨我吗？谁让昨天最差的一个转到另一所学校去了呢？”维克多回答。 Give Me a Dollar给我一块钱（中英文） Son: Dad, give me a dime. Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes? Son: I guess you're right, Dad. Give me a dollar, will you? 儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。 父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了(该自立了)，不是吗? 儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗? 聪明的博比 Clever Bobby （中英文） Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was. "The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you." He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe. "What's that, Bobby?" " Horsey, " said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!" 布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。 布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。” 他从书架上拿下一本自然书，把博比抱到膝上，打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。 “博比，这是什么？” “马马，”博比回答。 他又指了一张老虎的画片，博比回答说：“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的画片，博比说：“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片，博比说：“爸爸！” [注]horsey: 马（儿语） pussy：猫咪（儿语） A Thank-you Letter 感谢信（中英文） "Are you writing a thank-you letter to Grandpa like I told you?" "Yes, Mum." "Your handwriting seems very large." "Well, Grandpa's deaf, so I'm writing very loud." “你是在按照我说的给爷爷写信感谢他吗？”“是的，妈妈。” “你的字好象写得太大了。”“嗯，爷爷的耳朵不好，所以我写得大声点儿。” Settle Down and Settle Up一字之差（中英文） When my brother, a notorious spender, came home for a visit, he told my father he was going to get married and settle down. Dad said, "Why don't you stay single and settle up." 我的哥哥是个有名的挥霍者。他回家来时，告诉父亲说他要结婚了，要安定下来。父亲说：“你为什么不实行独身主义，先把欠债还清呢？” 注：settle down是“安定下来”，而settle up 是“还清欠债”意思，二者虽只是up与 down不同，但意思却完全不同。 She Ate All My Bait她把所有的诱饵都吃了 The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister along fishing. "The last time she came," he objected, "I didn't catch a single fish." "I'll talk to her," his mother said, "and I promise this time she won't make any noise." "It wasn't the noise, Mom," the boy replied, "She ate all my bait." 当妈妈提出让小男孩带着妹妹一起去钓鱼时，他坚决反对。“上次她跟着我，”他反对说，“我连一条鱼都没能钓上。” “我会告诉她，”妈妈说，“我保证这次她不再发出响声了。” “妈妈，不是响声，”男孩回答，“是她把所有的诱饵都吃了。” Something I Didn’t Do 我没做的事（中英文） Mother: What are you crying for? Tommy: Teacher kept me in for something I didn't do. Mother: Something you didn't do? What was it? Tommy: M-m-my lessons. 妈妈：你哭什么？ 汤米：老师为了一件我没做的事把我留下了。 妈妈：一件你没做的事？什么事？ 汤米：我……我的作业。 注："for something I didn't do"的意思是：“为了不是我做的事情”，但也表示“为了我没有做的事情。” 英语笑话带翻译 Prize 奖品 （中英文） Little Albert came home from school with a new book under his arm. "It's a prize, mother," he explained."A prize? What for, dear?" "For natural history. Teacher asked me how many legs an ostrich has, and I said three.""But an ostrich has only two legs." "I know it now. But all the pupils said four, so I was the closest." 小阿尔伯特腋下夹着一本新书从学校回家来了。“这是奖品，妈妈。”他解释道。“奖品？因为什么得的。亲爱的？” “因为自然课得的。老师问我鸵鸟有几条腿，我说有三条。”“但是鸵鸟是两条腿啊。” “我现在知道了。但其他学生都说有四条。所以还是我最接近正确答案。” |
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