PHOTO BY CHEN CHAO
很少有人通过速配节目来寻找伴侣。当大学名人马伊咪、谢佳在江苏电视台的《非诚勿扰》栏目中为选择“潜在男友”而犹豫不决时,很多大学生已经找到了他们的伴侣。
MOST people don't need a game show to find love. While college celebrities Ma Yimi and Xie Jia bounce between potential boyfriends on Jiangsu TV's You are the One, many university students have already found their match.
大学校园为中国年轻人提供了一个探索独立性的窗口。很多人的第一次约会都发生在大学,他们寻找伴侣,开始自己的人生课程。
Campus life provides young Chinese a window to explore their own independence. Many start dating for the first time, looking for love and learning life lessons.
“高中时,老师和家长要求学生埋头读书,准备高考,” 中国青少年研究中心副主任孙云晓说。“他们相信,只有高等教育才能带来光明的前途。”
In high school, teachers and parents want students to bury their heads in textbooks to prepare for exams, said Sun Yunxiao, the deputy director of the China Youth and Children Research Center. "They believe only higher education brings a bright future."
然而,学生们前脚步入大学校园,马上就迫不及待地开始想寻找伴侣了。
But once in those college classrooms, students are eager to explore the idea of companionship.
范雪菊就是在课堂上和男友刘烁勇相识的。两人是北京外国语大学的大三学生,刚好21岁。他们专业相同,又在同一个班级,拥有共同的兴趣爱好。两年的相处让他们如今形影不离。
Fan Xueju met her boyfriend, Liu Shuoyong, in class. The two 21-year-old juniors at Beijing Foreign Studies University share the same major, the same classes, and the same interests. After spending two years together, they are now inseparable.
“我们都很钟情于对方,”范雪菊说,自己刚开始和他恋爱时就决定要嫁给他。“我们简直就是天生一对。”
We have grown a deep attachment to each other, said Fan, who decided she wanted to marry Liu almost immediately after they started dating. "We are two perfectly-matching pieces of a puzzle."
与很多西方国家学生的爱情不同,中国学生的爱情更长久,更认真。2009年12月,《解放日报》公布了一项针对12所高等院校大学生的调查。结果显示,超过三分之一的大学生正在恋爱中。40%的调查者表示愿意与现在的恋人组建家庭。
Unlike student relationships in many Western countries, Chinese relationships tend to be long-term and serious. Over one-third of all college students are in a relationship, according to an October 2009 survey of students at 12 universities published by Jiefang Daily. And 40 percent of the respondents were positive they would start a family with their current partner.
虽然情侣们交往后不久就会讨论婚姻问题,但一旦谈及约会中的一些私人问题就会噤声不语。当问到“脚踏多只船”、性经历等问题时,学生们的反应大多是震惊或矛盾。
But while couples are quick to talk marriage, they tend to be hush-hush when it comes to the intimate intangibles of dating. When asked about dating multiple people at once or being sexually active, students answer with shock or ambivalence.
《解放日报》一项调查显示,47%的学生对婚前性行为持模棱两可的态度。其他人对此的态度明显分为支持和反对两派。
According to the Jiefang Daily survey, 47 percent of students had an ambiguous attitude toward premarital sex. The remaining half was split between supporting and opposing the idea.
“大学时,你关注的只是感觉--你到底爱不爱你的女朋友,”23岁的天津财经大学统计学大四学生张毅说。他打算和现在的女友结婚。“毕业后,你不得不考虑其他因素--她的工作、收入、家庭、教育背景等。这让事情变得很复杂。”
In university, you just pay attention to your feelings - whether you love your girlfriend or not, said Zhang Yi, a 23-year-old senior statistics major at Tianjin University of Finance and Economics who hopes to marry his current girlfriend. "After graduation, you have to consider other factors - her job, income, family and educational background. It makes things complicated."
或许也正是因此,毕业为大学罗曼史画上了句号。
That's when the window of opportunity slams shut for most college romances: graduation.
“学生们毕业后如果还想维持恋情,就必须确保他们拥有相同的人生观、价值观以及人生理想。”上海社会科学院的婚姻专家徐安琪说。
If students want to maintain a relationship after graduation, they must make sure that they share the same philosophy and values, and that they have the same aims in life, said Xu Anqi, a marriage expert at the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences.
而在这些情侣中,也只有一部分最终走在了一起。2008年,智联招聘网对7000名青年员工进行了一项调查。结果显示,只有17%的情侣毕业后直接结婚。而这些人中,48.4%的人表示这是个明智的决定。
These relationships only occasionally end in "I do". In a 2008 survey of 7,000 young employees by the job-hunting website Zhaopin.com, 17 percent of couples married directly after graduation. Among them, 48.4 percent said it was the right choice.
由此看来,校园浪漫或许不会成为永恒,但是学生们却能从中学到珍贵的人生哲理。
So these campus romances might not last forever, but students do take away valuable life lessons.
“几乎每个大学生都是独生子女,因此,他们很容易自私、任性。”孙云晓说。“学生们在恋爱中学会如何照顾他人,并变得宽容。”
Nearly every college student grew up as an only child, and it's easy for them to be selfish and wayward, Sun said. "Students learn how to take care of others and become tolerant in a relationship."
(Translator & Editor: 21英语 Sylvie AND Lily)