You've been on your diet for two days … and you've already given in and eaten a giant slab of chocolate cake.
You've told yourself you'll tidy out the garage this weekend … just like you've been saying for the last four months.
You'redetermined that this is going to be the month when you get thatbusiness plan done … except you've not written a word of it.
You swore you wouldn't check your email till lunchtime … but it's ten am and you've already cracked.
Anyof those sound familiar? Maybe you've told yourself that you need to bemore self-disciplined. Perhaps you're convinced that you just need tokeep trying harder, dammit. Or maybe you secretly fear that you'renever going to manage to pull yourself together and stay focused.
It'sfrustrating, because without a certain amount of self-discipline, youknow your goals are going to slip away. But there are strategies forbuilding up your strength and will power:
Rather than spending a lot of energy trying to poweron through these situations, focus on coming up with ways to deal withthem before they crop up next time.
- Focus on Specific Behaviors
It'sreally difficult to be self-disciplined if you're fuzzy about whatexactly you're trying to change. For instance, telling yourself "Iwon't eat any junk food ever" is overwhelming. But saying "I won't stop at McDonald's on the way home from work today" is much easier.
Often,half the battle is just getting started. If you're really struggling tofocus on your goal, tell yourself you'll just spend ten minutescleaning the garage or writing the report or whatever it is. Onceyou've got going, you don't have to overcome your initial inertia – youcan keep on without much extra effort.
- Find Tools and Techniques Which Help You
Whenwe think about being self-disciplined, we have a tendency to assume weneed to do it all ourselves, by the sheer force of willpower.
Thisisn't generally necessary. There are all sorts of tools and trickswhich can help you stay on track. For instance, if you're on a diet,try keeping a food diary – it makes you more accountable and gives youa boost to your will-power. If you're trying to check your emails less often, make it difficult to open your email program (or switch off your internet connection altogether).
- Keep Track of How You're Doing
Asyour self-discipline gets stronger, it's a good idea to track howyou're doing. This can be really encouraging when you see the progressyou've already made; it's easy to forget how far you've come.
The way you keep track will depend on the particular goals you're trying to achieve, but you might try:
- Seek Support From the People Around You
We're social creatures and easily swayed by other people. Want proof? Think about any time that you've ordered dessert (or not ordered it!) just because everyone else at the table was doing so.
It really pays to surround yourself by self-disciplined people who'll encourage you.Maybe your friend goes for a run every day, and can encourage you toexercise. Or maybe your spouse always does his/her chores without fail,and you want to match up to that example.
Don't just look forinspiration, though. Tell other people what you're trying toaccomplish. If your friends know that you're trying to start up abusiness, they can support you – by offering useful contacts, or byencouraging you, or by celebrating your successes with you.
Anddon't underestimate the power of accountability. If there's somethingyou're really keen to get done, tell your friends that you're going todo it – and you'll find it's much harder to weasel out.
You've told yourself you'll tidy out the garage this weekend … just like you've been saying for the last four months.
You'redetermined that this is going to be the month when you get thatbusiness plan done … except you've not written a word of it.
You swore you wouldn't check your email till lunchtime … but it's ten am and you've already cracked.
Anyof those sound familiar? Maybe you've told yourself that you need to bemore self-disciplined. Perhaps you're convinced that you just need tokeep trying harder, dammit. Or maybe you secretly fear that you'renever going to manage to pull yourself together and stay focused.
It'sfrustrating, because without a certain amount of self-discipline, youknow your goals are going to slip away. But there are strategies forbuilding up your strength and will power:
- Don't Beat Yourself Up
First, don't keep guilt-tripping yourself. It's not very productive to get angry and upset every time you fail to do something.
What is helpful is to figure out where it went wrong:- Did you jump straight in, without thinking about your strategy for facing possible problems?
- Did you have a clear plan of action?
- Did you get swayed by another person?
- Did something unexpected crop up?
Rather than spending a lot of energy trying to poweron through these situations, focus on coming up with ways to deal withthem before they crop up next time.
It'sreally difficult to be self-disciplined if you're fuzzy about whatexactly you're trying to change. For instance, telling yourself "Iwon't eat any junk food ever" is overwhelming. But saying "I won't stop at McDonald's on the way home from work today" is much easier.
Often,half the battle is just getting started. If you're really struggling tofocus on your goal, tell yourself you'll just spend ten minutescleaning the garage or writing the report or whatever it is. Onceyou've got going, you don't have to overcome your initial inertia – youcan keep on without much extra effort.
Whenwe think about being self-disciplined, we have a tendency to assume weneed to do it all ourselves, by the sheer force of willpower.
Thisisn't generally necessary. There are all sorts of tools and trickswhich can help you stay on track. For instance, if you're on a diet,try keeping a food diary – it makes you more accountable and gives youa boost to your will-power. If you're trying to check your emails less often, make it difficult to open your email program (or switch off your internet connection altogether).
Asyour self-discipline gets stronger, it's a good idea to track howyou're doing. This can be really encouraging when you see the progressyou've already made; it's easy to forget how far you've come.
The way you keep track will depend on the particular goals you're trying to achieve, but you might try:
- Keeping a journal where you write down your successes each day (e.g. "turned down chocolate cake at mum's")
- Marking successes on your calendar so that you get a string of Xs (e.g. mark each day that you go for a 20-minute walk)
We're social creatures and easily swayed by other people. Want proof? Think about any time that you've ordered dessert (or not ordered it!) just because everyone else at the table was doing so.
It really pays to surround yourself by self-disciplined people who'll encourage you.Maybe your friend goes for a run every day, and can encourage you toexercise. Or maybe your spouse always does his/her chores without fail,and you want to match up to that example.
Don't just look forinspiration, though. Tell other people what you're trying toaccomplish. If your friends know that you're trying to start up abusiness, they can support you – by offering useful contacts, or byencouraging you, or by celebrating your successes with you.
Anddon't underestimate the power of accountability. If there's somethingyou're really keen to get done, tell your friends that you're going todo it – and you'll find it's much harder to weasel out.
