joke 1
调查员:What is your father"s name?
小 弟:Happy!!
调查员:What is your mother"s name?
小 弟:Smile!
调查员:Are you joking?
小 弟:No!!That"s my sister!! I am Kidding!!
joke 2
Cross Examined
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist.
Here‘s what happened:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren‘t sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man‘s brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it‘s possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.[/size
joke3
Suddenly
Joe the lawyer died suddenly at the age of 45.
He got to the gates of Heaven.
The angel standing there said, "We‘ve been waiting a long time for you."
"What do you mean," he replied. "I‘m only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?"
"45? You‘re not 45, you‘re 82," replied the angel.
"Wait a minute. If you think I‘m 82 then you have the wrong guy. I‘m only 45. I can show you my birth certificate."
"Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disappeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned.
"Sorry, but by our records you are 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..."
joke4
No matter what
A man who was to be investigated by the Inland Revenue, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.
"Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper." the accountant replied.
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice.
"Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."
Confused, the man asked a friend, told him of the conflicting advice, and aked what he should do.
"Let me tell you a story," replied his friend.
"A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night and was told ‘Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.‘
When she asked her best friend, she was told ‘Wear your most sexy negligee, with a v-neck right down to your navel‘."
The man said "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IR?"
His friend replied, "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."
调查员:What is your father"s name?
小 弟:Happy!!
调查员:What is your mother"s name?
小 弟:Smile!
调查员:Are you joking?
小 弟:No!!That"s my sister!! I am Kidding!!
joke 2
Cross Examined
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist.
Here‘s what happened:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren‘t sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man‘s brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it‘s possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.[/size
joke3
Suddenly
Joe the lawyer died suddenly at the age of 45.
He got to the gates of Heaven.
The angel standing there said, "We‘ve been waiting a long time for you."
"What do you mean," he replied. "I‘m only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?"
"45? You‘re not 45, you‘re 82," replied the angel.
"Wait a minute. If you think I‘m 82 then you have the wrong guy. I‘m only 45. I can show you my birth certificate."
"Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disappeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned.
"Sorry, but by our records you are 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..."
joke4
No matter what
A man who was to be investigated by the Inland Revenue, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.
"Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper." the accountant replied.
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice.
"Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."
Confused, the man asked a friend, told him of the conflicting advice, and aked what he should do.
"Let me tell you a story," replied his friend.
"A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night and was told ‘Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.‘
When she asked her best friend, she was told ‘Wear your most sexy negligee, with a v-neck right down to your navel‘."
The man said "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IR?"
His friend replied, "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."
