Mrs. Dashwood's visit to Middleton took place the next day, and two of her daughters went with her; but Marianne excused herself from being of the party, under some trifling pretext of employment; and her mother, who concluded that a promise had been made by Willoughby the night before of calling on her while they were absent, was perfectly satisfied with her remaining at home.
On their return from the Park they found Willoughby's curricle and servant in waiting at the cottage, and Mrs. Dashwood was convinced that her conjecture had been just. So far it was all as she had foreseen; but on entering the house she beheld what no foresight had taught her to expect. They were no sooner in the passage than Marianne came hastily out of the parlour apparently in violent affliction, with her handkerchief at her eyes, and without noticing them ran up stairs. Surprised and alarmed, they proceeded directly into the room she had just quitted, where they found only Willoughby, who was leaning against the mantel-piece with his back towards them. He turned round on their coming in, and his countenance showed that he strongly partook of the emotion which overpowered Marianne.
"Is anything the matter with her?" cried Mrs. Dashwood, as she entered:- "is she ill?"
"I hope not," he replied, trying to look cheerful; and with a forced smile presently added, "It is I who may rather expect to be ill- for I am now suffering under a very heavy disappointment!"
"Yes, for I am unable to keep my engagement with you. Mrs. Smith has this morning exercised the privilege of riches upon a poor, dependent cousin, by sending me on business to London. I have just received my despatches, and taken my farewell of Allenham; and by way of exhilaration I am now come to take my farewell of you."
"To London!- and are you going this morning?"
"Almost this moment."
"This is very unfortunate. But Mrs. Smith must be obliged; and her business will not detain you from us long, I hope."
He coloured as he replied, "You are very kind; but I have no idea of returning into Devonshire immediately. My visits to Mrs. Smith are never repeated within the twelvemonth."
"And is Mrs. Smith your only friend? Is Allenham the only house in the neighbourhood to which you will be welcome? For shame, Willoughby, can you wait for an invitation here?"
His colour increased; and, with his eyes fixed on the ground, he only replied, "You are too good."
Mrs. Dashwood looked at Elinor with surprise. Elinor felt equal amazement. For a few moments every one was silent. Mrs. Dashwood first spoke.
"I have only to add, my dear Willoughby, that at Barton cottage you will always be welcome; for I will not press you to return here immediately, because you only can judge how far that might be pleasing to Mrs. Smith; and on this head I shall be no more disposed to question your judgment than to doubt your inclination."
"My engagements at present," replied Willoughby, confusedly, "are of such a nature- that- I dare not flatter myself-"
He stopt. Mrs. Dashwood was too much astonished to speak, and another pause succeeded. This was broken by Willoughby, who said, with a faint smile, "It is folly to linger in this manner. I will not torment myself any longer by remaining among friends whose society it is impossible for me now to enjoy."
He then hastily took leave of them all, and left the room. They saw him step into his carriage, and in a minute it was out of sight.
Mrs. Dashwood felt too much for speech, and instantly quitted the parlour to give way in solitude to the concern and alarm which this sudden departure occasioned.
Elinor's uneasiness was at least equal to her mother's. She thought of what had just passed with anxiety and distrust. Willoughby's behaviour in taking leave of them, his embarrassment, and affection of cheerfulness, and, above all, his unwillingness to accept her mother's invitation, a backwardness so unlike a lover, so unlike himself, greatly disturbed her. One moment she feared that no serious design had ever been formed on his side; and the next that some unfortunate quarrel had taken place between him and her sister:- the distress in which Marianne had quitted the room was such as a serious quarrel could most reasonably account for, though, when she considered what Marianne's love for him was, a quarrel seemed almost impossible.
But whatever might be the particulars of their separation, her sister's affliction was indubitable; and she thought with the tenderest compassion of that violent sorrow which Marianne was in all probability not merely giving way to as a relief, but feeding and encouraging as a duty.
In about half an hour her mother returned, and though her eyes were red, her countenance was not uncheerful.
"Our dear Willoughby is now some miles from Barton, Elinor," said she, as she sat down to work, "and with how heavy a heart does he travel?"
"It is all very strange. So suddenly to be gone! It seems but the work of a moment. And last night he was with us so happy, so cheerful, so affectionate? And now, after only ten minutes' notice,- gone, too, without intending to return!- something more than what be owned to us must have happened. He did not speak, he did not behave like himself. You must have seen the difference as well as I. What can it be? Can they have quarrelled? Why else should he have shown such unwillingness to accept your invitation here?"
"It was not inclination that he wanted, Elinor; I could plainly see that. He had not the power of accepting it. I have thought it all over, I assure you, and I can perfectly account for everything that at first seemed strange to me as well as to you."
"Can you, indeed!"
"Yes. I have explained it to myself in the most satisfactory way; but you, Elinor, who love to doubt where you can- it will not satisfy you, I know; but you shall not talk me out of my trust in it. I am persuaded that Mrs. Smith suspects his regard for Marianne, disapproves of it (perhaps because she has other views for him), and on that account is eager to get him away; and that the business which she sends him off to transact is invented as an excuse to dismiss him. This is what I believe to have happened. He is, moreover, aware that she does dissapprove the connection; he dares not therefore at present confess to her his engagement with Marianne, and he feels himself obliged, from his dependent situation, to give in to her schemes, and absent himself from Devonshire for a while. You will tell me, I know, that this may or may not have happened; but I will listen to no cavil, unless you can point out any other method of understanding the affair as satisfactory at this. And now, Elinor, what have you to say?"
"Nothing, for you have anticipated my answer."
"Then you would have told me, that it might or might not have happened. Oh, Elinor, how incomprehensible are your feelings! You had rather take evil upon credit than good. You had rather look out for misery for Marianne, and guilt for poor Willoughby, than an apology for the latter. You are resolved to think him blamable, because be took leave of us with less affection than his usual behaviour has shown. And is no allowance to be made for inadvertence, or for spirits depressed by recent disappointment? Are no probabilities to be accepted, merely because they are not certainties? Is no thing due to the man whom we have all such reason to love, and no reason in the world to think ill of? To the possibility of motives unanswerable in themselves, though unavoidably secret for a while? And, after all, what is it you suspect him of?"
"I can hardly tell myself. But suspicion of something unpleasant is the inevitable consequence of such an alteration as we just witnessed in him. There is great truth, however, in what you have now urged of the allowances which ought to be made for him, and it is my wish to be candid in my judgment of every body. Willoughby may, undoubtedly, have very sufficient reasons for his conduct, and I will hope that he has. But it would have been more like Willoughby to acknowledge them at once. Secrecy may be advisable; but still I cannot help wondering at its being practiced by him."
"Do not blame him, however, for departing from his character, where the deviation is necessary. But you really do admit the justice of what I have said in his defence am happy and he is acquitted."
"Not entirely. It may be proper to conceal their engagement (if they are engaged) from Mrs. Smith; and if that is the case, it must be highly expedient for Willoughby to be but little in Devonshire at present. But this is no excuse for their concealing it from us."
"Concealing it from us! my dear child, do you accuse Willoughby and Marianne, of concealment? This is strange, indeed, when your eyes have been reproaching them every day for incautiousness."
"I want no proof of their affection," said Elinor, "but of their engagement I do."
"I am perfectly satisfied of both."
"Yet not a syllable has been said to you on the subject by either of them."
"I have not wanted syllables where actions have spoken so plainly. Has not his behaviour to Marianne and to all of us, for at least the last fortnight, declared that he loved and considered her as his future wife, and that he felt for us the attachment of the nearest relation? Have we not perfectly understood each other? Has not my consent been daily asked by his looks, his manner, his attentive and affectionate respect? My Elinor, is it possible to doubt their engagement? How could such a thought occur to you? How is it to be supposed that Willoughby, persuaded as he must be of your sister's love, should leave her, and leave her perhaps for months, without telling her of his affection,- that they should part without a mutual exchange of confidence?"
"I confess," replied Elinor, "that every circumstance except one, is in favour of their engagement; but that one is the total silence of both on the subject, and with me it almost outweighs every other."
"How strange this is! You must think wretchedly indeed of Willoughby, if, after all that has openly passed between them, you can doubt the nature of the terms on which they are together. Has he been acting a part in his behaviour to your sister all this time? Do you suppose him really indifferent to her?"
"No, I cannot think that. He must and does love her, I am sure."
"But with a strange kind of tenderness, if he can leave her with such indifference, such carelessness of the future, as you attribute to him."
"You must remember, my dear mother, that I have never considered this matter as certain. I have had my doubts, I confess; but they are fainter than they were, and they may soon he entirely done away. If we find they correspond, every fear of mine will be removed."
"A mighty concession, indeed! If you were to see them at the altar, you would suppose they were going to be married. Ungracious girl! But I require no such proof. Nothing in my opinion has ever passed to justify doubt; no secrecy has been attempted; all has been uniformly open and unreserved. You cannot doubt your sister's wishes. It must be Willoughby, therefore, whom you suspect. But why? Is he not a man of honour and feeling? Has there been any inconsistency on his side to create alarm? can he be deceitful?"
"I hope not, I believe not," cried Elinor. "I love Willoughby, sincerely love him; and suspicion of his integrity cannot be more painful to yourself than to me. It has been involuntary, and I will not encourage it. I was startled, I confess, by the alteration in his manners this morning: he did not speak like himself, and did not return your kindness with any cordiality. But all this may be explained by such a situation of his affairs as you have supposed. He had just parted from my sister, had seen her leave him in the greatest affliction; and if he felt obliged, from a fear of offending Mrs. Smith, to resist the temptation of returning here soon, and yet aware that by declining your invitation, by saying that he was going away for some time, he should seem to act an ungenerous, a suspicious part by our family, be might well be embarrassed and disturbed. In such a case, a plain and open avowal of his difficulties would have been more to his honour, I think, as well as more consistent with his general character;- but I will not raise objections against any one's conduct on so liberal a foundation, as a difference in judgment from myself, or a deviation from what I may think right and consistent." "You speak very properly. Willoughby certainly does not deserve to be suspected. Though we have not known him long, be is no stranger in this part of the world; and who has ever spoken to his disadvantage? Had he been in a situation to act independently and marry immediately, it might have been odd that he should leave us without acknowledging everything to me at once: but this is not the case. It is an engagement in some respects not prosperously begun, for their marriage must be at a very uncertain distance; and even secrecy, as far as it can be observed, may now be very advisable."
They were interrupted by the entrance of Margaret; and Elinor was then at liberty to think over the representations of her mother, to acknowledge the probability of many, and hope for the justice of all.
They saw nothing of Marianne till dinner-time, when she entered the room and took her place at the table without saying a word. Her eyes were red and swollen; and it seemed as if her tears were even then restrained with difficulty. She avoided the looks of them all, could neither eat nor speak, and after some time, on her mother's silently pressing her hand with tender compassion, her small degree of fortitude was quite overcome, she burst into tears, and left the room.
This violent oppression of spirits continued the whole evening. She was without any power, because she was without any desire of command over herself. The slightest mention of anything relative to Willoughby overpowered her in an instant; and though her family were most anxiously attentive to her comfort, it was impossible for them, if they spoke at all, to keep clear of every subject which her feelings connected with him.
第二天,达什伍德太太去拜访米德尔顿夫人,和她同去的还有两个女儿。玛丽安借口有点小事,没有随同前往。母亲断定,头天夜里威洛比一定和她有约在先,想趁她们外出的时候来找玛丽安,于是便满心欢喜地任她留在家里。 她们从巴顿庄园一回来,便发现威洛比的马车和仆人在乡舍前面恭候,达什伍德太太想她猜得果然不错。就目前的情况看来,事情正像她预见的那样。谁料一走进屋里,她见到的情景与她预见的并不一致。她们刚跨进走廊,就见玛丽安急匆匆地走出客厅,看样子极度悲伤,一直拿手帕擦眼睛,也没觉察她们便跑上了楼。她们大为惊异,径直走进玛丽安刚刚走出的客厅,只见威洛比背对着她们,倚靠在壁炉架上。听见她们进房,他转过身来。从他的脸色看得出来,同玛丽安一祥,他的心情也十分痛苦。 “她怎么啦?”达什伍德太太一进房便大声嚷道,“她是不是不舒服了?” “但愿不是,”威洛比答道,极力装出高高兴兴的样子。他勉强做出一副笑脸,然后说:“感觉不舒服的应该是我——因为我遇到一件令人十分失望的事情。” “令人失望的事情?” “是的,因为我不能履行同你们的约会。今天早晨,史密斯太太仗着她有钱有势,居然支使起一个有赖于她的可怜表侄来了,派我到伦敦去出差。我刚附接受差遣,告别了艾伦汉。为了使大家高兴,特来向你们告别。” “去伦敦——今天上午就走吗?” “马上就走。” “这太遗憾了。不过,史密斯太太的指派不可不从。我希望这事不会使你离开我们很久。” 威洛比脸一红,答道:“你真客气,不过我不见得会立即回到德文郡。我一年里对灾密斯太太的拜访从不超过一次。” “难道史密斯太太是你唯一的朋友?难道艾伦汉是你在附近能受到欢迎的唯一宅府!真不像话,威洛比!你就不能等待接受这里的邀请啦?” 威洛比的脸色更红了。他两眼盯着地板,只是答道:“你真太好了” 达什伍德太太惊奇地望望埃丽诺。埃丽诺同样感到惊讶。大家沉默了一阵。还是达什伍德太太首先开口。 “亲爱的威洛比,我再补充说一句:你在巴顿乡舍永远是受欢迎的。我不想逼迫你立即回来,因为只有你才能断定,这样做会不会取悦于史密斯太太。在这方面,我既不想怀疑你的意愿,也不想怀疑你的判断力。” “我现在的差事,”威洛比惶惑地答道,“属于这样一种性质一—我——我不敢不自量力地——” 他停住了。达什伍德太太惊慢得说不出话来,结果又停顿了一会儿。威洛比打破了沉默,只见他淡然一笑,说:“这样拖延下去是愚蠢的。我不想折磨自己了,既然现在不可能和朋友们愉快相聚,只好不再久留。” 随后,他匆匆辞别达什伍德母女,走出房间。她们瞧着他跨上马车,一会儿便不见了。 达什伍德太太难过得没有心思说话,当即便走出客厅,独自伤心去了。威洛比的陡然离去用起了她的忧虑和惊恐。 埃丽诺的忧虑并不亚于母亲。她想起刚才发生的事情,既焦急又疑惑。威洛比告别时的那些表现:神色本来十分窘迫,却要装出一副高高兴兴的样子;更为重要的是,他不肯接受母亲的邀请,畏畏缩缩的哪里像个情人?这一切都叫她深感不安。她时而担心威洛比从来不曾有过认真的打算,时而担心他和妹妹之间发生了不幸的争吵。玛丽安走出客厅时那么伤心,最能解释得通的就是双方当真吵了一场。不过,考虑到玛丽安那样爱他,争吵又似乎是不可能的。 但是,不管他们分离时的具体情况如何,妹妹的苦恼却是毋庸置疑的。她怀着深切的同情,设想着玛丽安正在忍受的巨大痛苦。很可能,这种痛苦不仅尽情地发泄出来了,而且还在有意识地推波助澜呢。 约莫过了半个钟头,母亲回到客厅,虽然两眼通红,脸色却不显得忧郁。 “埃丽诺,我们亲爱的威洛比现在离开巴顿好几英里远了,”她说,一面坐下做她的活计,“他一路上心里该有多么沉重啊!” “这事真怪。走得这么突然!好像只是一瞬间的事情。他昨晚和我们在一起时,还那么愉快,那么叫人高兴,那么多情!可是现在,只提前十分钟打了个招呼,便走了,好像还不打算回来似的。一定出了什么事他没告诉我们。他嘴里不说,行动也很反常。对于这些变化,你应该和我一样看得仔细。这是怎么回事呢?他们两个可能吵架啦?可是他为什么不肯接受你的邀请呢?” “埃丽诺,他不是不愿意!我看得很清楚。他没法接受我的邀请。说实在的,我已经仔细考虑过了。有些事情起先在你我看来很奇怪,现在件件我都能给予完满的解释。” “你真能解释?” “是的,我给自己解释得满意极了。不过,你嘛,埃丽诺,总爱怀疑这怀疑那的——,我知道,我的解释不会叫你满意,但是你也不能说服我放弃我的看法。我相信,史密斯太太怀疑威洛比对玛丽安有意,硬是不赞成(可能因为她替他另有考虑),因此便迫不及待地把他支使走了。她打发他去干什么事,那仅仅是为了把他打发开而捏造的一个借口。我看就是这么回事儿。另外,他也知道史密斯太太不赞成这门亲事,因此目前还不敢向她坦白他已和玛丽安订婚。相反,由于他处于依赖她的地位,他又不得不听从她的安排,暂时离开德文郡。我知道,你会对我说,事情也许是这样,也许不是这样。我不想听你说些吹毛求疵的话,除非你能提出同样今人满意的解释来。那么,埃丽诺,你有什么好说的?” “没有,因为你已经料到了我会怎么回答。” “你会对我说:事情也许是这样,也许不是这样。哦!埃丽诺,你的思想真叫人难以捉摸!你是宁信恶而不信善。你宁愿留神玛丽安的痛苦、威洛比的过错,而不愿意替威洛比寻求辩解。你是执意认为威洛比该受责备,因为他向我们告别时不像平常那样情意绵绵。难道你就不考虑考虑他可能是一时疏忽,或是最近遇到失意的事情而情绪低落?可能性并不是百分之百地有把握,难道仅仅为此就不考虑这些可能性吗?威洛比这个人,我们有一千条理由喜爱他,而没有一条理由瞧不起他,难道现在一点也不能原谅吗?难道他不可能有些不便说出的动机,暂时不得不保守秘密?说来说去,你究竟怀疑他什么?” “我也说不上来。但是,我们刚才看到他那副反常的样子,必然会怀疑发生了什么不愉快的事情。不过,你极力主张替他寻求辩解,这也很有道理,而我审人度事就喜欢诚实公正。毫无疑问,威洛比那样做是会有充分的理由的,我也希望他如此。但是,他假如当即承认这些理由,倒更符合他的性格。保守秘密也许是必要的,然而他会保守秘密,却不能不使我感到惊奇。” “不要责备他违背自己的性格,该违背的还要违背。不过,你果真承认我为他做的辩解是公平合理的?我很高兴——他被宣判无罪啦。” “并非完全如此。对史密斯太太隐瞒他们订婚的事(如果他们确实订婚了的话),也许是恰当的。假如事实果真如此,威洛比当前尽量少在德文郡盘桓,倒不失为上策。可是他们没有理由瞒着我们。” “瞒着我们!我的宝贝,你指责威洛比和玛丽安瞒着我们?这就实在怪了,你的目光不是每天都在责备他俩轻率吗?” “我不需要他们情意缠绵的证据,”埃丽诺说,“但是我需要他们订婚的证据。” “我对这两方面都坚信不疑。” “然而,他们两人在这件事上只字没向你透露过呀。” “行动上明摆着的事情,还要什么只字不只字。至少是近两个星期以来,他对玛丽安和我们大伙的态度难道还没表明他爱玛丽安,并且把她视为未来的妻于?他对我们那样恋恋不舍,难道不像是一家人?难道我们之间还不心心相印?难道他的神色、他的仪态、他的殷勤多情、必恭必敬,不是每天都在寻求我的同意吗?我的埃丽诺,你怎么能去怀疑他们是否订婚呢?你怎么会有这种想法呢?威洛比明知你妹妹喜爱他,怎么能设想他不对她表表衷情就走了,而且或许一走就是几个月呢?他们怎么可能连一句贴心话都不说就分手了呢?” “说真的,”埃丽诺答道,“别的情况都好说,可是就有一个情况不能说明他们己经订婚,这就是两人一直闭口不谈这个问题。在我看来,这个情况比哪个情况都重要。” “这就怪啦!人家这样开诚布公,你倒能对他们的关系提出怀疑,你真把威洛比看扁啦。这么长时间,难道他对你妹妹的举动都是装出来的?你认为他真的对她冷漠无情?” “不,我不这样认为。我相信,他肯定喜爱玛丽安。” “但是照你的看法,他却冷漠无情、不顾后果地离开了她。如果真有此事,这岂不是一种不可思议的爱情?” “你应该记住,我的好妈妈,我从来没有把事情看得一定如此。我承认我有疑虑,但是不像以前那么重了,也许很快就会彻底打消。假如我们发现他俩有书信来往,那么我的全部忧虑就会烟消云散。” “你还真会假设呀:假如你见到他们站在圣坛跟前,你就会认为他们要结婚了:你这姑娘真不厚道1我可不需要这样的证据。庆我看,这事儿没有什么好怀疑的。他们没有什么不可告人的,自始至终都是光明正大的。你不会怀疑你妹妹的心愿,你怀疑的一定是威洛比。但这是为什么?难道他不是个又体面、又有感情的人?难道他有什么反复无常的地方值得大惊小怪?难道他会骗人?” “我希望他不会,也相信他不会,”埃丽诺嚷道,“我喜欢威洛比,真心实意地喜欢他。怀疑他是不是诚实,这使你感到痛苦,我心里也决不比你好受。这种怀疑是无意中形成的,我不会去有意加码。说实在的,他今天上午态度上的变化把我吓了一跳。他言谈反常,你待他那么好,他却丝毫没有诚挚相报。不过,这一切倒可以用你设想的他的处境来解释。他刚和我妹妹分手,眼看着她悲痛欲绝地跑开了。他害怕得罪支密斯太太,想早点回来又不敢,但他知道,他拒绝你的邀请,说他要离开一些日子,他将在我们一家人的心目中扮演一个形迹可疑的角色,那样他准会感到窘迫不安的。在这种情况下,我觉得他满可以直截了当地说明他的难处,这样做会更体面些,也更符合他的性格——但是我不想凭着这么狭小的气量,认为一个人和自己见解不同,或者不像我们想象的那样专一和得体,便对他的行为提出异议。” “你说得很对。威洛比当然无可怀疑。虽然我们认识他的时间不长,他在这里却并非陌生人。有谁说过他的坏话?假若他可以自己作主,马上结婚的话,他走之前不立即把什么事情都向我交代清楚才怪呢。可是情况并非如此。从某些方面看来,这是件开头并不顺当的婚约,因为结婚还是遥遥无期的事情。现在,只要行得通,就连保密也是十分明智的。” 玛格丽特走进来,打断了她们的谈话。这时,埃丽诺才从容仔细地考虑一下母亲的这些话,承认有些说法是合乎情理的,但愿她说的全都入情入理。 她们一直没有看见玛丽安,直到吃晚饭的时候,她才走进房来,一声不响地坐到桌前。她的眼圈又红又肿,看样子,即使在当时,她也是好不容易才忍住了自己的泪水。她尽力避开众人的目光,既不吃饭,也不说话。过了一会儿,母亲怀着亲切怜惜之情,不声不响地抓住了她的手。顿时,她那点微不足道的坚毅精神被彻底摧垮了——她眼泪夺眶而出,拔腿奔出房去。 整个晚上,玛丽安都处在极度的悲痛之中。她无法克制自己,也不想克制自己。别人稍微提到一点与威洛比有关的事情,她马上就受不了。虽然一家人都在急切地尽力劝慰她,但是只要一说话,就不可能一点不触及她认为与威洛比有关的话题。 |
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