Synchronicity  I’ve written many times about how synchronicities tend to increase when I’m in the flow state. I often think of synchronicities as acknowledgements from the universe when I’m successfully following my path with a heart. Let me share some specific examples of what these synchronicities look like. Lately I’ve been enjoying speaking about social skills, relationships, and sexuality. I love the intrinsic rewards of this work and keep leaning into it more and more. I recently returned from a weeklong trip to New York City, which including hosting a meet-up in Central Park and speaking at the Direct Dating Summit on the weekend. This trip was filled with an amazing convergence of synchronicities — strange coincidences stacked on top of each other. On the plane returning home to Las Vegas, I actually made a list of the synchronicities that occurred on this trip. I was able to list a dozen of them. I’ll share some of the more interesting ones to give you some idea of how they show up. After I landed in Newark airport, I was going to take a cab to Brooklyn where I’d be staying. But I decided to check my email first, and I got an email from a friend and former Conscious Growth Workshop attendee. We had already been in touch by email a few weeks earlier, so he knew I was coming to NYC around this time. He left his number, so we get in touch by phone, and I ask him if he’s free to hang out that evening. It turns out that he lives close to Newark airport and offers to pick me up. He does so, and we have a delightful dinner with his wife at an Asian vegan place in Morristown. We talk for quite a while, and he’s going to drop me off at a train station, so I can take that into Manhattan and then catch the subway from there to Brooklyn. I’m very comfortable getting around by train, so that’s no problem for me at all. But when we get to the train station, we see that it’s almost an hour-long wait for the next train into the city. So he graciously offers to drive me all the way to Brooklyn, which takes about an hour one way. Later that evening after he drives home, he texts me to say that he arrived back home at exactly 11:11pm. I stayed in a 3-bedroom AirBnB apartment in Brooklyn with some of the other contributors to the summit. The first Wednesday night, three of us stayed there. I left in the morning on my own to meet up with an old friend at Grand Central Station. That station is huge; it has more platforms than any other train station in the world. The place was packed with people walking in all directions. But somehow I just conveniently ran into my friend there, even though I didn’t know which train he was arriving on. He spotted me first while I was looking at a directory, trying to figure out where to go. My friend and I have lunch together and walk around Manhattan for a bit. After we say goodbye, I head to Central Park to scout for a meetup location. After picking a spot, I decide to walk to Whole Foods in Columbus Circle to grab some vegan snacks. But I’m a bit tired, so I take a short nap in Sheep’s Meadow first while listening to some meditative music. At some point I just pop awake and sense it’s time to go. As I’m walking through Central Park towards Whole Foods, I’m spacing out a bit and daydreaming about the upcoming workshop — partly thinking about how fun it will be. I hear someone call out to me, so I look down the path and see two guys heading towards me. I soon recognize that they’re my two roommates from the Brooklyn apartment. In our first day in a place the size of Manhattan, we just happened to bump into each other. But I didn’t know where they were going to be that day, and they didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t even know they were heading into the city. I left well before them and didn’t tell them where I was going, other than that I was meeting my friend in the city. We were blown away that we just happened to be in the same place at the same time. Later that day the summit’s organizer, Sasha, is approaching women on the street in Brooklyn. He’s fearless about starting up conversations with strangers, and he often runs boot camps teaching guys how to do the same. While he’s talking on his cell phone, he approaches one random girl on the street and hands her his phone, playfully telling his friend on the phone (John) to flirt with her. John and the girl talk on the phone for a little while. After the call ends, Sasha mentions the name of the guy who was on the phone, and the girl claims to know a guy by that name. Sasha is doubtful, but she pulls out her cell phone and shows him John’s contact info, including a photo of John on the URL of John’s website, proving she had met John before. Again that same day (or the very next day — I don’t recall which), John is in a restaurant and sees actor Philip Seymour Hoffman there, but I don’t think they had any interaction together. This will be meaningful later. Friday night I host our group meetup in Central Park. It starts out a little slow, with most people showing up well after the start time, but eventually we have a nice group with everyone opening up and having lively conversations. After it gets dark, a bunch of us decide to grab some food, so we walk to Maoz Vegetarian. I’d say there were 10-12 people left at that point. We enjoy some good food (vegan falafel for me) and stimulating conversation. Then we share our final hugs goodbye outside the restaurant, and I look at my watch and see that it’s 11:11pm. The others seem to appreciate the appropriateness of saying goodbye right at that time. At Friday’s meetup I remember having a conversation with someone about the movie Mystery Men. I also know that I mentioned that movie during a Skype call with Rachelle earlier that week, which she verified. Also, on July 21 I posted some silly advice on Twitter and Google+ that was inspired by the Sphinx character in that movie. You can find that post here. Before I leave for the summit on Saturday morning, I notice some oily residue on top of the dresser in my bedroom. I grab some paper towels from the kitchen and wipe it up. But I take more towels than I actually need, so there’s a spare. I have no idea why, but I get the intuitive sense that I should bring that extra towel with me to the summit. Logically that makes little sense, but I’ve learned to trust my intuition, so I stuff the extra paper towel in my pocket and head out. At the summit I take my first bathroom break. The bathrooms are very tiny, so the sinks are out in the hallway. I wash my hands and then realize to my chagrin that the towel dispenser is empty. There are no air dryers either. No big deal… I can just shake out my hands and let them air dry, or perhaps wipe them on my jeans. But then I smile and remember the paper towel in my pocket. I use it to dry my hands. Then I go to the front desk and ask the receptionist to have someone reload the towel dispenser. They promptly take care of that, so no one else has to deal with a towel shortage for the rest of the weekend. On the second day of the summit (July 28), Sasha and I are chatting in the hallway around the corner from the workshop room. Almost everyone else was in the studio room while Alan Roger Currie was speaking. I hear a voice from another studio further down the hall, and it really sounds like actress Janeane Garofalo. She played the character of The Bowler in Mystery Men. Turns out it really was her. She walks down the hall towards us, and Sasha and I chat with her for several minutes. I invite her to hang out at the summit with us, but she has to decline. She was working on a project there and had to get back to it. At the end of the summit, I hang out to chat a bit with the other speakers and attendees. I always like being one of the last to leave at such events, so I can share and contribute as much as possible. At one point I’m talking to two guys, and we realize that all three of us are named Steve. That’s the first time I can recall having a conversation with two other Steves at the same time. It was fun but a bit surreal. After the summit most of the speakers and some of the summit attendees head to a bar a few doors down from the building where we had the summit, partly to celebrate a successful workshop and to hang out and talk some more. At the bar I’m chatting with one of the other Steves from the summit. We soon realize that we’re both the same age; our birthdays are only a few months apart. We both grew up in L.A., and he lived in Las Vegas for a while as well. Then we realize we were both born in the same part of L.A. (Santa Monica). He asks me what hospital I was born in, but I don’t recall off the top of my head. He tells me that he was born in Saint John’s. When I get home, I check my birth certificate, and sure enough… I was indeed born at Saint John’s Hospital. It was like meeting my long-lost twin brother. Later that same night, at a casual 11-person after-party, Sasha, John, and I are talking in the kitchen. Our conversation turns to the movie Pulp Fiction, which is one of my all-time favorites. Rachelle and I had just re-watched it last time she was in Vegas. I mention the scene with Christopher Walken during our conversation. Sasha shares an interesting story about meeting Walken in person, including doing a pretty decent impersonation of him. On the Monday after the summit, I decide to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I had already bought a ticket online before I left Vegas. It’s a terrific art museum — huge in fact — and I only have about 6 hours there, so I move through it at a fairly rapid pace. I occasionally start conversations with some of the other tourists, partly because I’m in a very social mood from the summit. During Alan’s talk at the summit, he cautions against pretending to be someone you’re not. He uses the example of talking to a woman who’s into 18th Century Chinese art — and not to pretend that you like it too just because you’re interested in her (unless of course you really do share that particular interest). While exploring the Asian section of the Met, I notice a picture of some cranes that catches my eye. I look at the description, and it turns out that it was created by a Chinese artist in the 18th Century. That gives me a chuckle. Eventually I get hungry and decide to grab some lunch. I check out the cafeteria, but there’s virtually nothing vegan, so I decide to head outside. Finding vegan food in New York City is very easy, especially with an app like HappyCow. But as I’m about to leave, I notice a text message from one of the meetup attendees that I hung out with a couple days earlier. Her text reminds me about a place where she got vegan, gluten-free pizza. The place is called Two Boots. I check a map on my phone and see that there’s one just a short walk from the museum. I tell her “Nice timing!” and enjoy some delicious vegan pizza. Then I head back to the museum and finish it off. While exploring the Egyptian wing of the museum I notice an ankh or two, which jogs my memory of when I used to have an ankh pendant that I really liked, but I lost it many years ago. I make a mental note that it would be nice to get a new pendant like that sometime. I wonder if they might have something like that in the gift shop, but I forget to check. On my return flight home, I’m a bit tired, so I zone out and meditate with some music for the first 30-45 minutes of the 5-hour flight. I suddenly pop awake and look up. On the TVs in the center aisle, the in-flight movie is playing. On the screen I see none other than Christopher Walken. I laugh at the synchronicity since this trip has been full of so many already. But then in the very next scene, there’s Philip Seymour Hoffman. I grab the magazine from the seat pocket in front of me to see what movie it playing. It’s A Late Quartet, and there’s a photo showing Walken and Hoffman in the same scene, with both of their names listed below. After my plane lands in Vegas, I notice that my carry-on bag is missing. I was sitting in row 39 out of 40, so I was one of the last people to disembark. I had to put my bag above the seat at row 27 since I was also one of the last to board at Newark, and most of the overhead bin space was already full. My bag is definitely not there, but there’s one similar-looking bag left behind in the adjacent bin. I explain the situation to the stewardess. With their help, I turn in the bag that was left behind to the gate crew, and then I file a report for my missing bag with the airline. They tell me that this happens sometimes and that most likely the person who took the wrong bag will soon realize their mistake and return the bag to the airport. I’m told that most likely I’ll have my bag back by the end of the day. I’m not particularly worried because there wasn’t much of value in my carry-on. It was mostly clothes — no electronics or special valuables. Actually the biggest potential disappointment would have been the loss of the bag itself. It was a brand new bag, and this was my very first trip with it. I bought it at Costco though, so it wasn’t particularly expensive. I was fairly surprised that someone could mistake the two bags. They were roughly the same size, shape, and color, but the handles were very different, my bag looked brand new while the other was worn, and my bag had 4 wheels vs. 2 wheels on the other. I figured it was probably taken by a tourist who doesn’t travel very often, such that they don’t even know how to recognize their own luggage. I was optimistic that my bag would be returned eventually. I just hoped I would have it back by Sunday, since I’m leaving for Minneapolis then. About 3-4 hours after I get home, the airline calls. They have my bag. Great! They tell me that the guy who took it by mistake was very sorry for the inconvenience. I drive back to the airport and retrieve the bag without any problems. I wonder if this may have happened for a reason. I feel an intuitive urge to go for a walk on the Strip, so I run with that intuition. The Vegas Strip is only 5 minutes from the airport, and mostly on the way back to my house anyway. As I’m walking through a stretch of shops between two hotels, I pass by a jewelry kiosk with some interesting looking pendants. I’m about to keep walking past it, but I slow down long enough that the girl who works at the kiosk asks me if I need any help. I was already in a very extroverted mood from the summit and the week in NYC, so I start chatting with her just to be social. I casually tell her about the ankh I used to own and that the pendants reminded me of it, but I can tell she has nothing like it there. She doesn’t even know what an ankh is. I visually trace a circle and a plus sign in the air as I explain what it looks like. She spins and says she thinks she has one somewhere. She flips around one of the displays, and on the back side, hidden among the other pendants, is one very cool looking ankh. I try it on, with a chain to match, and I like it right away. I decide to get it. Since I’m still feeling social, I keep chatting with her, mostly about travel since she’s from Eastern Europe. Next thing I know, I’m meeting one of her friends and invited to have drinks with them at a bar nearby — the bartender treats us for free. Afterwards we exchange contact info. I continue walking around the Strip, randomly starting conversations with strangers a few more times, dropping compliments, and wishing gamblers good luck. It’s all very easy and flowing. One reason I love to speak at conferences is that I always learn something. When I’m not on stage, I often sit in the audience to listen to the other speakers. Just being around so many growth-oriented people can be a transformational experience, regardless of the content being shared. The theme of the NYC summit was “getting sexual,” so I consider a few perspective shifts I’ve had in that area throughout the weekend. I feel like I’ve had a few shifts, but they don’t yet feel very well integrated. They still seem like disjointed ideas, but the dots aren’t fully connected yet. I realize I need to give this area some more thought. The first day I’m back in Vegas, I get an email from someone I don’t know — a guy who was referred to me by one of the other speakers from the summit. This guy happens to be in Vegas for a few days and wants to meet up. I’m a little tired, but I’ve been hit by so many syncs in the past week that I decide to act immediately. I call him right away and arrange to meet with him at the Wynn Hotel on the Strip in 30 minutes. His name is JJ Roberts, author of the book Sex 3.0. He also has a website with lots of articles about sexuality and relationships. We talk for two hours about open relationships (he prefers the term “unfenced” relationships), sexuality, travel, the breakdown of conventional monogamy, and more. He tells me about a documentary he’s making as he travels around the world, and he invites me to be in it. I tell him I’ll think about it. The next day (which was yesterday), I agree to go ahead with the interview. We meet up on the Strip and film about 90 minutes of footage. Then we hang out and talk for another hour. Relationship-wise he’s been following a similar path to the one I’ve been on for nearly 4 years now; only he’s been at it for 12 years. I enjoy hearing his perspective and ask him about his philosophy, especially his approach to getting sexual with women. I want to see how what he says compares with what others were sharing at the summit. I pick up a couple interesting perspective shifts during our conversation, and I feel like the missing pieces are falling into place. I appreciate how he’s able to simplify some aspects of relationships by boiling them down to just a few simple concepts. I often find that when I talk to people whose experience greatly exceeds my own, they have a different way of looking at reality, and their results largely stem from their perspective. When I can grasp and adopt their perspective, I can often get similar results. But the tricky part is being able to understand why their perspective works for them. Incidentally, I don’t know when the documentary will be released, but I doubt it will happen this year. In the meantime JJ has lots of free articles about relationships and sexuality that you can enjoy on his website. I’ve noticed that when I’m really following my path with a heart, the synchronicities hit hard and fast — and they just keep coming one after the other. I’ve only shared some of the more interesting ones that came up within the past week. Objectively you could say that these are coincidences, self-fulfilling prophecies, and lucky accidents. And you’d be right. That is a valid interpretation from the objective perspective. Subjectively, this is also a very interesting way to live — to enjoy a harmonious flow of intention and manifestation that shows up in the form of multiple overlapping synchronicities. It can be challenging to accept this kind of flow, to run with it, and to trust it. But it sure makes life a lot of fun. After a while you may begin to anticipate a potential surprise around every corner — and still to be blindsided when the surprises come from an unexpected direction. What creates this kind of flow? In my experience it comes from fully embracing and immersing oneself in a path with a heart — doing what you love and hanging out with people you really like, regardless of how much it pays. As soon as you begin to sacrifice fulfillment and happiness for something fear-based — like money or security — the flow dies, and life becomes a series of routine, boring tasks without meaning or purpose. But you can always regain that flow by paying attention to the build-up of pressure within you. That pressure will often push you into seemingly scary decisions — decisions that will test to the limits your ability to trust the universe in which you find yourself. Once you can establish that bond of trust with the universe, you’re golden. It will back you up as long as you stay true to your path with a heart. Once you stray onto the heartless path, you’ll know it because the synchronicities will stop — you’ll be out of the flow. Is your life a constant barrage of one delightful synchronicity after another? Do you wake up each morning wondering what amazing surprises will come your way today? Or has your life become mundane, predictable, and heartless? To get back onto that path with a heart, ask yourself this: What am I afraid to do? What potential path excites me and scares me at the same time? Is it the path of quitting your dead-end job? Moving on from a lifeless relationship? Radically changing your habits in some way? Selling off your possessions and traveling continuously for a while? What excites you? What people make you feel envious when you learn about their lifestyles? Pick one of those things you’ve been fearing and avoiding, and lean into it. You’ll know you’re on the right path when the synchronicities start showing up. Usually this will happen within 24-48 hours after you start leaning strongly in the direction of your path with a heart. Aside from happiness and fulfillment for yourself, another major benefit of following your path with a heart is that you’ll attract others into your life who are on a similar path. You’ll attract each other like magnets — and have a lot of fun together. I always love making new friends on this journey. It’s a pleasure to connect with people who’ve invested years in their personal growth and who understand that there’s much more to life than making money, acquiring possessions, and settling down. After the NYC summit, I went out to dinner in Manhattan with five of the other speakers — to an all vegan restaurant no less. The food was delicious. The conversation was fun and lively. And afterwards we got some friendly passersby to take a group photo of us outside. Can you believe that this was actually a regular workweek for me? Going out and having growth experiences, hosting a meetup, making new friends, contributing to a workshop, and sharing what I learn along the way — that’s all part of my career path. And yet it sure doesn’t feel like work. It’s just fun, fulfillment, and adventure. Please don’t spend even one more day of your life doing uninspired work. It’s not worth it — not even to pay the bills, not even to keep a roof over your head, not even to put food on the table… and not even if you have kids to support. It’s much worse for you to teach your kids to grow up and repeat the mistake of living a heartless life for yet another generation. Trust that if you follow your own path with a heart, the universe will back you up with all the support you need and then some. But it will not lift a finger until you make the first move. It will not help you with your goal of security. It will, however, lavish an avalanche of support upon you for being courageous enough to demand a life of fulfillment, joy, and creativity. But first you must say no to a fear-based, timid life. Then you can say yes to your path with a heart. I can’t wait to see what next week will bring. 关于身处浑然忘我的心流状态将如何有助于增进同步性事件的发生，我已写过许多文章。我常把同步性事件看作自己成功走上追随内心的道路时，来自宇宙的各种认可方式。 让我和大家分享一些具体例子，看看这些同步性事件会是什么样子。 近来我一直热衷于演讲有关社交技能、感情关系和性方面的内容。我热爱这种工作本身所固有的满足感与回报，并越来越投入其中。 最近我刚从为期一周的纽约之旅返回家中，这趟旅行包括在中央公园举办的一次见面会，以及周末在Direct Dating Summit（直白约会峰会）上的演讲。旅行期间充满了令人惊异的各种同步性事件 — 奇妙的巧合总是接踵而至。 在返回拉斯维加斯的航班上，我其实写了份旅行中发生过的同步性事件清单。能列出的事情有十几项。我将分享那些相比之下更有意思的同步性事件，让大家了解它们的发生过程。 抵达纽约的纽瓦克机场后，我本打算乘出租车前往位于布鲁克林的入住地。但我决定先查看一下电子邮箱，于是看到一封发自朋友的邮件，他参加过我以前的Conscious Growth Workshop（清醒成长工作坊）。我们之前已通过邮件联系过好几个星期，因此他知道我这段时间要来纽约。他给我留了自己的手机号，我便打电话问他是否愿意当晚出来一起聚聚。结果他说自己就住在纽瓦克机场附近，提出要来接我。他开车到了机场，然后我们和他的夫人一起在Morristown的一家亚洲纯素餐厅高兴地共进晚餐。我们聊了很久，之后他打算送我到一个火车站，我可以从那儿乘火车到曼哈顿，再转地铁去布鲁克林。我对坐火车旅行感到很舒服，所以这样的安排完全没有问题。但当我们到达火车站时，才发现下一趟去城里的火车几乎要一小时后才到。朋友于是极为慷慨地提出要一路开车送我去布鲁克林，单程用了大约一小时。后来他晚上回家后，就发信息告诉我自己恰巧在11:11这个时间到家。 我与参加峰会的其他一些演讲者共住在布鲁克林一套3居室的AirBnB公寓。第一个周三晚上，我们三人都住在那里。第二天一早我便去纽约中央火车站见一个老朋友。火车站规模宏大；它的站台比世界上其他任何车站都多。那里满是前往各个方向的人群。但不知怎么地我很容易就碰见了朋友，即便自己并不知道他是坐哪趟火车抵达。他先发现了我，当时我正望着一个方向，琢磨着该往哪儿走。 朋友和我一起吃了午餐并在曼哈顿周围逛了一会儿。相互道别后，我便前往中央公园探查见面会地点。选好了地点，我决定去Columbus Circle（哥伦比亚圆环）那儿的Whole Foods有机食材店，买些纯素零食。但我当时感到有点儿累，就先听着冥想音乐在Sheep Meadow（绵羊草原）小睡一会儿。过了段时间我自然醒来，觉得是时候起身离开了。 在朝Whole Foods方向走过中央公园时，我有点出神并白日做梦般地想着要举行的工作坊 — 部分是在想到时会多有趣。忽然我听见有人喊我的名字，便朝前望去，看到有两个人正向我走来。很快我就认出他们是布鲁克林公寓里的两个室友。在身处像曼哈顿这么大城区的第一天，我们竟然刚好碰见了对方。但我当天并不知道他们要去哪里，而且他们也不知道我的行程。我甚至不知道他们打算到城里来。我在他们之前很早就离开了公寓，也没告诉他们我要去哪儿，除了说自己要在城里见朋友。我们都对同时在同一地点碰巧遇见对方大为惊讶。 当天晚些时候，峰会的组织者Sasha在布鲁克林的大街上主动和女士搭讪。他对跟陌生人开始交谈毫无畏惧，而且还常组织新兵训练营来教授其他男士怎样做相同的事情。在用手机通话的时候，他随机搭讪街上的一个女孩，并将手机递交给她，开玩笑地告诉电话里的朋友（John）和这个女孩调调情。John便和女孩在电话里交谈了一会儿。结束通话后，Sasha提到了电话那头的男士名字，而女孩表示自己知道叫这个名字的人。Sasha有点儿怀疑，不过女孩调出了自己手机里的联系人信息，里面包含了John网站上的一张个人照片，证明她以前确实见过John。 之后同一天（或是第二天 — 我记不太清了），John在一家餐厅里看见了演员Philip Seymour Hoffman，但我想他们当时并没有任何交流。这件事情在后面会有它的意义。 周五晚上我在中央公园组织了见面会。见面会有点儿慢热，大多数人都在开始时间过后才出现，但最后大家都活跃起来并聊得很开心。天色变暗后，一群人决定去吃些东西，我们便走到Maoz Vegetarian（Maoz素餐厅）。我估计那时有10-12个人离开了见面会。我们享受了美食（我吃的是纯素的法拉费）并进行了愉悦的交流。最后大家在餐厅外拥抱道别，我看了看表，当时正好是晚上11:11。其他人看起来也很高兴恰巧在这个时间彼此道别。 在周五的见面会上我记得自己跟人谈到了Mystery Men（《神秘兵团》）这部电影。我还想起自己那周早些时候与Rachelle的Skype通话中也提到过这部电影，Rachelle后来也确认了。而且，7月21号我在Twitter和Google+上还发布了由电影里Sphinx角色启发的一些搞怪建议。你可以在这里找到那条信息。 周六早上离开公寓参加峰会前，我注意到卧室桌柜上有些油渍，于是从厨房拿了些纸巾想把它擦干净。可我拿的纸巾要比实际用去的多，有不少剩余。我不知道为什么会这样，但自己有种直觉感应，觉得应该把多余的纸巾带到峰会去。逻辑上讲这样做毫无道理，但我已学会了相信自己的直觉，便把多余的纸巾塞进裤兜，接着出了门。 我在峰会的第一次休息时去了洗手间。由于卫生间非常小，所有洗手池都在外面的走廊。洗过手后我才非常懊恼地意识到那里的纸巾盒是空的。而且也没有风干机。不过这没什么大不了... 我只用甩甩手，等它们自然风干，或者在自己的牛仔裤上擦干。但随后我就笑了笑，记起裤兜里的纸巾。我用它擦完双手，然后走到楼层前台，告诉那里的工作人员安排装填一下纸巾盒。他们很快办妥了这件事，周末剩下的时间里就没人再会遇到纸巾短缺的问题了。 峰会第二天（7月28号），Sasha和我在工作坊会场外的走廊拐角处聊天。其他所有人几乎都在场内听Alan Roger Currie的演讲。我忽然听见大厅远处另一间工作室里传出的声音，就像女演员Janeane Carofalo在说话。她在Mystery Men中扮演了The Bowler（魔球女）的角色。原来还真是她。她从大厅朝我们的方向走了过来，Sasha和我跟她聊了几分钟。我邀请她也去我们的峰会上看看，但她不得不回绝了我的邀请。她当时正在那儿忙着一个项目，还得回去继续工作。 峰会结束时，我和其他演讲人又与参加者聊了一会儿。我一直都喜欢在这样的活动上作为最后走的人之一，以便尽可能多地和人分享并做些贡献。其间我开始跟两个人一同交谈，最后我们意识到三个人的名字都叫Steve。那是我记忆中第一次同时和另两位Steve一起交谈。这种事情非常有趣但又有点离奇。 峰会结束后，大部分演讲人和一些参加者前往离会议大楼不远的一家酒吧，既是为庆祝一下工作坊的成功举办，也是再聚着聊聊。在酒吧里我和当时遇见的其中一位Steve聊了起来。我们很快发现大家的岁数都相同；生日也只相隔几个月。我们都在洛杉矶长大，而且他在拉斯维加斯也住过一段时间。然后我们意识到两人出生在洛杉矶的同一地区（Santa Monica）。他问我出生在哪家医院，但我当时回忆不起来了。他便告诉我自己是在Saint John’s（圣约翰医院）出生。我回到家后就查看了自己的出生证明，确实如此… 我也真的是在圣约翰医院出生。这种事情就像见到了自己长久失散的同胞兄弟一样。 当晚晚些时候，在一个休闲的11人余兴聚会上，Sasha、John和我在厨房里一起交谈。我们的话题转到了电影Pulp Fiction（《低俗小说》），这一直是我最喜欢的电影之一。Rachelle和我在她上次来拉斯维加斯的时候刚重新看过一遍。我在谈话中提到了Christopher Walken出演的一个场景。Sasha则跟我们分享了他与Walken亲自见面的一个有趣故事，而且还对Walken进行了逼真的模仿。 峰会结束后的周一，我决定去参观大都会艺术博物馆。离开拉斯维加斯前我就从网上买了张票。它是个极棒的艺术博物馆 — 实际上非常宏大 — 而我在那里只能待6个小时，所以我游览的步伐很快。由于自己还处于参加峰会的活跃社交心态，我偶尔会和周围其他的旅游者主动聊上几句。 Alan在峰会上的演讲期间，告诫人们不要去假装非真实的自我。他举例说道要是你想与某位对18世纪中国艺术感兴趣的女士交谈 — 就不要因为你对她感兴趣，便假装你也喜欢18世纪的中国艺术（除非你真的想去分享这种特殊的兴趣）。在探索博物馆内的亚洲艺术时，一幅含有几只鹤的画吸引了我的眼球。我看了看介绍，结果发现这幅画是由一位18世纪的中国艺术家创作，不禁暗自笑了笑。 最后我觉得有点饿，决定去吃些午餐。我查看了博物馆餐厅，但那里几乎没有任何纯素食品，我便决定去博物馆外面看看。在纽约寻找纯素食品非常容易，特别是有HappyCow这类手机应用的话。但就在我准备离开博物馆时，一条短信引起了我的注意，它是几天前在见面会上相聚过的一个参加者发来的。她提醒我有个她吃过纯素、无谷披萨的地方，名叫Two Boots（两支靴子）。我查看了手机地图，发现有一家分店从博物馆很快就能走到。我回复她“发得正好！”，于是在披萨店享用了那些美味的纯素披萨。之后我返回博物馆，游览完了剩下的时间。 在探索博物馆埃及艺术区时，我注意到一两件安卡ankh饰物，这唤起了我对曾有过的一个非常喜欢的ankh吊坠的记忆，但它很多年前就丢失了。我在心里念到希望能再有一个像那样的新吊坠。我本想知道博物馆的礼品店里是否有卖，但后来忘记去查看了。 在回家的航班上，我觉得有点累，便在5小时航程的头30-45分钟昏昏沉沉听着音乐冥想。忽然间我清醒过来并抬头看去。机舱中间通道上方的电视里，正播放着电影。我从屏幕上只看见了Christopher Walken。我对这种同步性场面置之一笑，因为这趟旅行已经满是这种巧合。但紧接着我就在下一个画面中看到了Philip Seymour Hoffman。我拿起面前座位后背口袋中的杂志，想看看放的是什么电影。结果看到电影名是A Late Quartet（《晚期四重奏》），杂志上就有一张Walken和Hoffman在同一场景中的照片，照片下方还列出了他俩的名字。 航班抵达拉斯维加斯后，我发现自己的随身行李包丢了。整个机舱有40排座位，我坐在第39排，因此是最后下飞机的人之一。由于我在纽瓦克也是最后登机的人之一，当时头顶行李架的大部分空间都已装满，我不得不把包放在第27排。我自己的包确实没了，不过相邻行李架上有个和其外观相似的包。我和乘务员解释了这个情况。在他们的帮助下，我把剩下的那个包交给了登机口工作人员，并向航空公司递交了遗失行李包的报告。他们告诉我有时会发生这种情况，可能拿错包的人很快就会意识到自己的错误并将它交还给机场。我被告知很可能当天结束前就能拿回自己的包。 我并非特别担心，因为随身行李包里没什么太有价值的东西。里面基本上都是衣服 — 没有电子产品或特别贵重的物品。其实可能最令我失望是丢了这个包本身。因为它是新买的，而且是我第一次在旅行中使用。不过我是从Costco量贩店购买，所以价格并非特别昂贵。我只是对有人会把两个包弄混感到惊讶。它们的大小、形状和颜色大致一样，但各自的提手非常不同，我的包看着很新，而另一个包的提手已经很旧了，我的包有4个轮子，而另一个包只有2个轮子。我想它肯定是被一个不经常旅行的人拿走的，因为这类人甚至不太会识别自己的行李。对于最终拿回自己的包我十分乐观，只是希望周日前就能取回，因为我到时要前往明尼阿波利斯。 回到家3-4小时后，机场便打来电话。他们拿到包了。太棒了！他们告诉我误拿行李的乘客对造成的所有不便非常抱歉。我开车返回机场取了自己的包，没再遇到任何问题。我当时就想这件事的发生是否有什么原因。我有一种直觉上的催促感，想去the Strip（赌城大道）走一走，我便顺从自己的直觉去往那里。拉斯维加斯的赌城大道离机场只有5分钟车程，而且大部分就在我回家的路上。 就在走过两家酒店中间的一趟商店时，我路过一间有些很好看挂坠的珠宝饰品店。我本准备继续走下去，但由于放慢了脚步，足以让店里的女孩主动询问我是否需要任何帮助。源于峰会和纽约之旅，我当时已处于非常外向的心情中，便开始和女孩聊了起来，只是继续着自己的那种社交心态。我随意地提到自己曾有过的安卡ankh十字符，并且她们店里的吊坠让我想起了它，但我看得出她那里并没有像这样的物品。她甚至不知道安卡ankh是什么。我跟她解释时用手比划出了一个顶上有圆圈的十字符的样子。她转过身说道觉得自己在哪里看到过一个。她翻了翻其中一个展示柜，从柜子靠后的一堆吊坠里找出了一个外观极酷的安卡ankh。我选了条匹配的吊链试了试，马上就十分喜欢。最后决定把它买下来。 因为我仍感觉很有社交心情，就继续和女孩聊了起来，她来自东欧，所以大部分内容都是关于旅行。接下来我知道的，就是和她的一个朋友见了面并被邀请跟她们去附近的一间酒吧共饮几杯 — 酒吧的侍者免费为我们买了单。之后我们交换了联系信息。我继续在赌城大道上闲逛，多次与陌生人随机交谈，对他们表示赞赏，并祝赌者好运。所有事情都发生得十分轻松和自然而然。 我喜欢在各种大会上演讲的一个原因就是自己总能从中学到东西。当我不在台上时，就常坐在观众席里听其他演讲。只是被这么多追求成长的人环绕就是一种自我转变的体验，台上所分享的内容早已无关紧要。 纽约峰会的主题是“变得性感”，我想经过那个周末，自己在这个领域的一些观念也发生了变化。我感到自己有了些转变，但这些转变还没有很好地与我整合在一起。它们似乎仍是些杂乱脱节的想法，各点之间还未完全连接起来。我觉得自己还需要在这一领域多做些思考。 回到拉斯维加斯的第一天，我收到一封陌生人的邮件 — 他是通过峰会上其他演讲人之一的介绍找到的我。此人碰巧要在拉斯维加斯待几天并想和我见见面。我当时已经有点累了，但考虑到过去一周里自己碰上这么多同步性事件，便决定立刻行动起来。我马上给他打了电话并安排30分钟后在赌城大道的Wynn酒店碰面。他的名字叫JJ Roberts，Sex 3.0（《性之3.0》）的作者。他还有个包含了很多关于性和感情关系方面文章的网站。我们交谈了两个小时，涉及开放感情关系（他偏好专用词“无藩篱”感情关系）、性、旅行、传统一夫一妻制的问题等等。他告诉我，自己在周游世界的同时正制作一部纪录片，并邀请我也参与其中。我跟他说自己会考虑一下。 第二天（也就是昨天），我同意接受他的采访。我们在赌城大道碰面并拍摄了大约90分钟的素材。之后我们又在一起聊了一小时。从感情关系层面上，与我有过将近4年的开放感情相比，他已在相似道路上经历了12年的时间。我很喜欢听他讲述自己的观点并询问其哲学理念，尤其是他在女性面前显得性感的途径。我想了解与其他演讲者在峰会上分享的相比，他所说的内容有何不同。 在交谈期间我经历了几次有趣的观念转变，并感到自己思想上原来欠缺的那些部分正得到弥补。我很感激他可以将感情关系的某些方面只归结为几个简单概念的能力。我常发现与那些经验远胜于己的人们交谈时，他们各有看待现实的不同方式，而且他们获得的成果大多也源于自己的视角观点。当我能领会并吸收他们的观点，自己就常能得到相似的结果。但最微妙的部分就是你能够理解这些观点为何会对他们起作用。 顺便说一下，我不知道这个纪录片何时会发布，但我怀疑它今年能完工。在此期间，JJ的网站上还有很多关于感情关系和性方面的免费文章可供阅读。 我注意到当自己真正走在追随内心的道路上时，同步性事件便会坚实迅速地迎面袭来 — 它们总是接踵而至。我和你分享的只是发生在过去一周中较为有趣的那些。 从客观角度上你可以说这些事情都是巧合、自我促成的预言，还有幸运的意外。并且你说的可能是对的。这是出自客观视角的一种有效解读。但从主观视角上看，这也是种很有意思的生活方式 — 以彼此叠加出现的同步性事件形式，来享受由个人意念和现实显现相结合的一种和谐流畅的生活状态。 要接纳这种心流状态，并让自己追随和信任它，可以说是极富挑战的事情。但它确实能给生活带来许多乐趣。按照这种方式生活一段时间后，你也许就能开始在生活的每个拐角处，预想到潜在的惊喜 — 同时仍被来自预料方向之外的惊奇所命中。 是什么创造出这种心流状态？根据我的经验，它来自完全拥抱和沉浸在一条追随内心的人生道路上 — 做你喜爱的事情，和你真正喜欢的人们在一起，不论付出何种代价。一旦你开始用基于恐惧的事物去牺牲自我实现和幸福感 — 比如金钱或安全 — 这种心流状态就断灭了，生活变成了毫无目的或意义的常规、枯燥事务。但你总能通过把注意力集中在内心积聚的压力上，来重新获得那种心流状态。那种压力常会将你推向看起来令人畏惧的决定 — 这些决定会测试你对自身所在宇宙的信任程度。一旦你与宇宙建立起那种充分信任关系，你便有如金子般光耀珍贵。只要你坚守这条追随内心的道路，宇宙就是你的坚强后盾。而一旦自己偏向了缺乏真心的道路，你也会知晓，因为同步性将停止显现 — 你将脱离浑然忘我的心流状态。 你的生活是由令人欣喜的连绵不绝的同步性事件组成的吗？你是否每早醒来就想知道今天还会出现哪些惊喜？或者你的生活已变得庸俗、可预见和毫无真心可言？ 要回到那条满怀真心的道路上，请问问你自己：什么是我害怕去做的？哪条潜在的道路会令我兴奋不已又心怀畏惧？ 这条道路是要辞掉自己毫无出路的工作吗？是告别一段毫无生机的感情关系吗？是彻底改变自己某些方面的习惯吗？还是卖掉自己的财产，连续旅游一段时间？什么事情能让你兴奋不已？什么人会让你在了解他们的生活方式后令自己羡慕嫉妒？ 挑出一件你一直在恐惧和回避的事情，然后投入其中。当同步性事件开始出现时，你就会知道自己正走在正确的道路上。通常在追随内心的道路方向上全力投入24-48小时后，这些同步性事件就将发生在你身边。 除了获得幸福和自我实现感，走上追随内心道路的另一个主要好处，就是你将把其他行走在相似道路上的人们吸引到自己的生活中。你们彼此就像 磁铁一样互相吸引 — 而且会共享许多乐趣。我一直都很喜欢在这样的人生旅途上结交新朋友。能够和已在自我成长上投入多年，并且明白除了挣钱、获取财产和安稳下来之外，生命中还应有更多意义的人们去交往，是件无比欢乐的事情。 纽约峰会结束后，我和其他五位演讲者一起外出到曼哈顿共进晚餐 — 仍然是家全纯素的餐厅。食物美味无比。我们的交流也充满乐趣和活力。之后我们在餐厅外让一位友好的路人给大家拍了合照。 你能相信这对我来说其实是一周平常的工作吗？出门体验成长经历，组织见面会，结识新朋友，在工作坊中贡献自己一份力量，分享个人一路中学到的东西 — 这都只是我事业路途中的一部分。而且所有这些完全感觉不到像是工作。它们只是各种乐趣、自我满足和历险。 请不要再多浪费自己一天的生命去做那些毫无生气的工作。它们根本不值得你付出 — 甚至不值得你用它们来付各种账单，不值得你让自己居有定所，不值得你能在桌上摆出食物... 甚至是你还有小孩要去抚养。教你的孩子们在长大后重复过这种缺失真心的生活，让下一代犯同样的错误简直更加糟糕。相信自己若是追随满怀真心的生活道路，整个宇宙都将是你坚强的后盾，为你提供需要的所有支持，而且还远不止此。但要是你迈不出自己的第一步，它连举手之劳都不会提供。它不会帮你实现想获得安全感的目标。但它会在你勇敢要求过一种充满自我实现、快乐和创造性的生活时，慷慨给予雪崩般的支持。但你首先必须对基于恐惧的怯懦生活说不。之后才能对满怀真心的道路说是。 我已经等不及要看看下周会迎来什么样的生活了。 |
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